Good Luck to all UOL Students!

Tomorrow is the day where all UOL (University of London) students get the jitters of logging in to the UOL website to check their results. This year’s results are extremely important to me as it will determine whether I’m able to graduate successfully. So its like a 50-50 thing, either dead or alive.

Initially I wasn’t that nervous but some friends of mine kept tweeting about the count down of the date of results and how nervous they are. Eventually I got infected by their nervous virus.

Actually there are mixed feelings towards getting a pass or fail.

If I pass,

Of course I will feel extremely happy, who doesn’t right. I mean finally can step into the working society and earn money to support my dad. Somemore I don’t want to waste another few thousands dollars to study another year for the few modules that I’ve failed.

To be frank, I am not even hoping for an honors degree, just a pass degree will do. This is how unconfident I am. People always tell me, “Sure can one la.” Ya, easier said than done.

If I fail,

On the other hand, if I failed and have to retake again, I’ll gladly accept it. I can’t blame anyone except myself for the bad results. Deep down, I shamefully admit that I didn't work hard enough for the papers. 

Putting cost factor aside, I actually really don’t mind retaking the papers because that would mean a chance for me to work harder to get better results. Can enjoy another year being a student.

Also, other than income, I really dreaded the working society. Imagine the job interviews you have to go through, office politics, stiff competitions between co-workers etc. Don’t even want to think further. Furthermore, I have really no idea on which career path to take. Therefore, failing might not be that bad as we think. I am very optimistic, I know. Haha

The problem about failing is not failing (if you know what I mean), but the guilt that you felt towards your loved ones. Because I am the only child, studying another year means I’ll be a burden for my aging dad to support me another year. I’ve thought a backup plan which is to work part-time during that one year since I’m likely to be retaking two or three modules. Timetable will be less hectic. This only applies to poor kids like me. Rich kids have no worries because their parents can support them for their entire life.

The above is not too much of a problem. The MAIN, most INTOLERABLE problem is to endure the dirty looks that people give. The kind of despise look and tone. For example,

Insensitive people: “Hi, hows your results?”

Me: “I didn’t manage to graduate, need to retake again another year”

Insensitive people(with the obvious sympathetic face, can’t even bothered to hide it well): “oh, nvm la. Try harder next year lor.”

But in deep in their hearts are like,

“aiyo, study private school still can fail means really jia lat liao.”

Something like that. *roll eyes*

So like I said, it’s mixed feelings. 直的也是死， 横着也是死,  怎样都是死 (going vertical is a dead end, going horizontal is also dead end. Which ever way are all dead ends).

I’ve come to a point where I don’t even dare to pray to god, any gods, for good results. I believe thousands of UOL students are all praying on the same day, same time. The gods will be too busy to hear mine. Why should god bless me with good results when I never even work hard for it? Why should they bless me when I only pray whenever I have problems? Pray also felt pai seh la.

No matter how the results turn out to be, I’ll accept it. But of course, a pass degree will be better. Good luck to all UOL students. =)